You never know how you’ll actually feel when the time comes,
when your 85 year old grandpa who has lived more than one life, dies,
right after you celebrated his birthday… his life… his family… him.
Life goes on until it doesn’t.
But that doesn’t mean you stop your life to grieve.
Because society doesn’t let you.
You have to keep studying because you’re a student,
even if you take off time temporarily
because your professors are human
and have compassion
and are suffering alongside you when you share the sorrowing news.
You have to keep going to work,
even if they give you bereavement time
because they need you to keep working for them,
because life goes on,
and obviously for them too.
It’s a business, after all.
You have to smile when someone at the grocery store compliments you,
even if it’s the same compliment your grandpa used to give you,
because it would be utterly weird to start crying at that moment of nicety, right?
You have to cry in your apartment alone,
when your family members have all gone to bed,
to tuck in their significant others
and maybe even their kids.
And you just have your sweet little cat to console you.
You have to pretend you feel him looking down on you,
from oh so high above,
when really you feel nothing but sadness overcome you,
overwhelming all your other senses into oblivion.
You have to eventually put on your cowboy boots and go fishing
because that’s what your sweet, old grandpa would want you to do,