Photo by Mad Rabbit Tattoo on Unsplash

I Don’t Know How to be a Girlfriend

But I know how to be me

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Labels are tricky, no?

I’m a sister. A friend. A co-worker. An artist. A dreamer. Lover. Yogi. Seeker. Teacher. Student. And the list goes on…

But why label anything when I’m simply me? What happens when I have a career change, a relationship change, a move in scenery, a new outlook, new thought, new mindset, new age?

Do I become different on the inside, deep down?

Nah.

I’m still me.

I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I didn’t know how to be a wife. I sometimes don’t know how to be a friend. A co-worker. A stranger. I don’t know how to “fit in” to what society deems normal or regular or average or customary. I don’t know how the fuck to fit inside this box that sometimes is placed atop my life.

I’m me. That’s all I know.

I don’t know what’s too soon or not soon enough. I’m not much for waiting for the right time — whatever the fuck that even means. I don’t know how to idly wait for life to pass me by, for the seconds are passing me by, not life. I don’t know how long to wait to express my feelings, nor do I…