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Minds Unraveling

Musings on life, reality, insanity

“It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

I stand atop the balcony and see the walls shifting before my eyes. Might this be my new reality? I look around and see the shadows casting themselves, dancing around before me, as if a puppet master is yanking their ropes the faster I try to decipher what’s real and what isn’t. I keep looking around me and see movements. So many movements. Are they happening when I close my eyes or when I keep them open? I’m not sure anymore. I blink open my eyes a few times, but the same shapes appear before my eyelids and when eyes are wide open.

I go for a drive on the road of reality, and everything moves so fucking fast. I can hardly breathe, yet my lungs feel so full of air and life and love and lust. Lust for life, that is — to keep being suspended in this moment that can’t possibly be felt again, nor un-felt. In the moment that screams for me to remain present, no longer dreading the “impending doom,” nor feeling sorrow “from torturing memories.” Everything stands still, because the moment of time is suspended whilst the car keeps driving fast on the roads. Where is this car going? I’m not sure. There is no real future, other than what man…