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Nobody Gives a Damn, Truly
Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic but don’t give it more attention than it deserves.
— Michael Ian Black
There are certain health issues I have been battling as of late, causing my body to retain a lot of water — primarily in my cheeks — and look bloated. It used to be a huge insecurity of mine, so I picked up boxing to disguise any potential puffiness in my face. I cared so fucking much what I looked like every morning, splashing cold water on my face, drinking even more water (this unfortunately added to the puff), and doing intense exercises to cure this look of mine. But it wasn’t until a co-worker nonchalantly asked me why I sometimes had puffy cheeks and sometimes didn’t. Is it weight gain? Or what? He asked me so casually, probably partly concerned with my well-being, partly curious why my cheeks were indeed inflamed, but only some days. My quick response was that it was boxing, because I KNOW that boxing does indeed contribute to my health issues. Or did, anyway. But deep down, I was fretting that he would unmask my declining health. Or worry about me the way I worry about me. Or judge me for not taking better care of myself, even though I’d been trying so fucking hard but not hard enough. But instead, he just said ah, okay, and we moved on from the conversation just like that. That’s when I realized nobody fucking cares…
