What Love Means to Me
Love is changing me
Love to me, means wanting the best for you.
— me
oh baby,
i love you more than you’ll ever know
and if that means you’re better off without me?
okay,
i accept that as our fate
but selfishly,
i would die inside if you and i weren’t together
because i have so much love and passion for you
and passion is derived from the root word suffer,
don’t you know?
so because of you,
i’m transforming myself into my best self
so that you aren’t better off without me
because i don’t want it to be me and you:
i want it to be us
and so it is us,
forever and always
love is changing me, baby,
and i’m here for it…
love is changing me
i’m communicating more,
which has been a struggle of mine since birth (no joke — ask my mom when i was deaf and therefore couldn’t talk properly),
and revealing to you my truest thoughts
because you deserve to choose the real me and not the facade of me.
the more i get to know you,
the more i choose you again and again and again,
and i know this time,
it’s the real you i’m choosing,
not the man wearing the mask.
i’m getting off my fucking ass and doing things,
not for you but for me.
it’s because of you, though, my sweet love:
i don’t want you being with a lazy ass because i love you,
nor do i want you to be a lazy ass because i love you,
so here i am,
living my daily life doing things
in the best and only way i know how,
and guess what?
i’m improving day by day…
you’ll see!
i’m giving you a second sledgehammer to break down the last of my walls
whilst i myself am crumbling the hard exterior that used to surround my entire essence,
because i trust that you won’t break the heart in my chest that also belongs to you now,
knowing how much i crave your heart
and also how many times you’ve made my own beat faster
when i lie my head on your chest that is keeping protection of your own heart that’s keeping pace with mine.
i’m soft now and weak and fragile and trembling,
but i wouldn’t dare keep anything between you and me because i love you,
and that includes any remnants of walls that have kept me safe prior to meeting you and loving you.
i’m telling you my true feelings,
because you deserve to know all of them,
no matter what they may entail,
no matter how hard i may try to suppress my truest thoughts
even if they aren’t even negative nor harsh nor bad.
i’m putting myself on the line,
unveiling to you my entire essence,
don’t you know?
i’m doing more yoga so that my body and mind connect
on a deeper level
because i want to transcend toward higher states of consciousness.
i also want you to transcend with me, my sweetest love,
so we can be even more ourselves and thus true and pure and genuine:
we grow apart or together,
and i choose together every time with you.
i’m changing, baby.
because i love you.
and i also am learning to love myself in the process of loving you…
wild, right?
because loving you means being the person you deserve.
and…
Love to me, means wanting the best for you.
so i’m making it my mission in life to be the best for you,
simply because i love you.
muah, baby.
